I would change

If I could change

women’s volleyball shorts.

their function is fine,

They fit the way they were designed to

I am able to dive,

hit

pass

and spike

in them.

I can run and jump and stretch.

I can also feel the stares of the audience members.

My face lights up red.

Red – the color of shame and embarrassment

The color of signs telling me to

STOP.

I stop.

I cannot concentrate on the game.

The shorts are tight.

They are embarrassing.

They are demeaning.

I do not feel like the strong woman I should feel like on the court.

All I can feel are the stares

The whispers

And the tall, woman across from me spikes the ball

And I miss it, too distracted.

To me, these shorts are the symbol

Of sexism.

And I don’t want to be ashamed of my strength,

Bravery.

But I am.