Gonna overthink about a boy that had I never liked
And would never like

Because I know that he will never like me back

Because I like girls to give myself an excuse to run away from any idea that may shape inside of me
Such
That I can like men
Because men
No
Because straight cis white men are scary

Because of the long history in which society normalized patriarchy

And because our timelines don’t align in a world where such deep rooted societal structure hasn’t been clearly torn down

And because I am a coward for thinking he could be one to be affected by this

That the he/him in his bio isn’t enough of a reminder that he understands and appreciates the concept of the diversity of the separation of the binary and the non binary and the trans brothers and sisters that exist today

And today is a day constantly changing with the youth becoming more aware of the dangers on the concepts that contribute to toxic masculinity and the suppression for gender equality

That his eloquence of his movements as he engages with his instrument isn’t enough of a reminder that men are just as gentle and emotional and pure and sophisticated and graceful like any one of us

That the constant photos of flowers are enough to show his appreciation for the natural grace that surrounds him

That the softness of his voice shows comfort and fitting and safety

That perhaps I judge too quickly as a result of what years of cis white men had printed in my mind of what they are all like and not to be based on the individual

Because I am weak

Because I cannot bear to think that perhaps he too would have the same appreciation for the wonders of the world far beyond the surface level of what society deems to be acceptable

And because I am a coward I don’t dare to ever question
That lingering feeling of wonder that I ignore calling into the void to strike a conversation of interest

Alas I find myself in silence because
I overthought about a boy
Who I had never liked