You realize what you’ve done

The minute the words trailed

off your breath and gently

breathed life into the reality

of what has really been going on

for months.

You see it in her face.

The way her lips, so beautiful,

slowly turn into a frown

that some might mistake for a pout,

but you know better.

You see it in her eyes.

The way the pain and understanding

collide into one lightning bolt of

regret, sadness and hurt.

You see it in her hands.

The way she instinctively makes a fist

with both of them, as if she is

preparing to be struck.

You see it in her body.

The way she instantly flinches,

maybe because she remembers the

pain of those harsh moments herself, or

maybe it’s because of her heart, and how deeply she cares for you.

You can see it written, unmistakably and indescribably all over her.

As the tears began to pool in her eyes, and throw themselves down her cheeks,

you understand.

She is upset because not only have you,

the one she so dearly loves

and cares for,

just threatened to take yourself away

from her, but

you have also made her realize

how utterly foolish she has been.

She is upset because she realizes,

that while her soul was slowly

suffocating her,

yours was too.

She is upset because she realizes,

that she was so wrapped up

in the dying process,

she failed to notice how you

were drowning with her.

She is upset because she realizes,

that she,

who prides herself on putting other’s needs before her own,

has failed in doing the one thing

she promised herself to always

be good at.

She is upset because she realizes,

how utterly stupid she is,

for all the tears and heart-aches, and

pieces of her brokenness

she shared with you.

Not because she wants to hide,

but because if she had only known what

you were going through,

she could have put her mask on,

and pretended to be okay,

even if she wasn’t,

because she now knows

your secret.

You see her beating herself

for not realizing it sooner.

You see the recognition in her eyes,

as she thinks back,

and finally sees the signs that she

missed.

You see the way she starts

to crumble, as

she realizes and begins the process

of naming herself as

a failure.

You wish you could help her,

tell her that she’s wrong,

take her pain and make it your own,

prove her wrong,

but you have finally reached your

breaking point.