Be Who You Are
Location
I’m different. I’m not like you. I have ADHD, Anxiety, and Depression.
Just because my brain works differently, I will never think the way you do.
My brain works differently. I have trouble reading sarcasm. But I can tell you every road it takes to get to school on the bus, I could do that when I was 5.
I can’t understand most sports. I only know baseball because my brother played and I was in the score board booth.
Keep Calm and Punch Trees. Anyone get that?
I was always fascinated with technology. My iPhone holds my life.
Because of the fact that I’m different, I have trouble making friends.
The friends I have are my brother’s friends, kids in my shop, and people who understand me.
So called "friends" come and go, but true friends never abandon you.
This pushed me to contemplate suicide for the second time.
The first time was in middle school, when I was becoming more myself.
The time when I realized I’m gay.
Growing up Roman Catholic, I thought my family would hate me, or want me to suppress it.
Lynn Hall said, “We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves.”
I wish I heard this earlier. I wish I knew my family would accept me. My mom had a gay best friend.
How did I not see the signs?
Music helped to bring me back. Music is my lifeline. Music is my anchor.
But when I think of music, I think of the homophobic people in the industry.
The people who are afraid of letting me be me. Idiots are everywhere. They don’t understand.
Should I not have a right to fall hopelessly in love? Should I not have a right to find my soul mate?
I’ve spent months trying to deny my crush on a guy who is straight as a ruler. I’ve fought feelings for him since freshman year.
But I can’t ask him if he would like me back, because I know he’s straight. Friends don’t crush on friends.
The one thing people get wrong about suicide survivors is that we are weak. We are strong. We are able to overcome and be able to love ourselves after everything.
I’ve had a hard life and will continue to have one. Whatever higher-being or power exists knows that I can handle it, so I have to just keep swimming and remember it gets better.