How do u explain to someone you cant hangout . "anxiety bad today" wont come out the mouth

Laying in bed , not wanting to get off the couch

I promise im happy, no really i swear that i am - but im always exhausted , back to my bed again.

Im easy going and carefree but man when its just me ... I get handcuffed-  balls and chains to this feeling that i just  genuinely cant explain.

"Everythings wrong , no im not fine.  I cant mount to anything" makes it way to my mind

Unintentionally chanting it to myself hour after hour , now the days almost over Marinda. . Maybe tomorrow will be better.

My mind is convinced that i gotta be stressed, chest tightens and heart starts pounding.. Here comes the mess

Im not self conscious,  i know my self worth .. I know i can do anything but thats not how my mind works.

Im too busy focusing on my mind,  cant give people any of my time.  I know yahll dont get it and really thats fine.

Im happy you dont get it. Im happy you dont understand. . the feeling of having to constantly filter out the negative thoughts will wear u down time and time again

If you dont have anxiety,  if you cant relate please dont come at me with a 'itll all be okay' because yes i know i already deal with it every single day

But this isnt a complaint,  its not a pity party just for my sake. Because although its a constant struggle - its also a gift.

Having such deep mindfulness makes me appreciate a lot of things that most ppl fail to see exist.

Without anxiety forcing me to always work on my mind,   id cease to comprehend the fact that everyone has their own way of living & that, thats just fine

If youre new to anxiety and its creeping ur way.. No im not gonna tell u itll be okay. Its gonna be hard its gonna be rough but life will seem so worth it whenever you get over one of those litle bumps

Anxiety sucks and thats just the way it is. But do some research and become aware -soon youll figure out its the best worst thing and something you dont ever have to fear.