Allow Me to Explain

            My thoughts are strange, strange indeed, they say.  My brain is scattered, scatterbrained they call me.  “My birthday is in April!” they tell me.  But they don’t hear my words.

            Allow me to explain.  My superstitions are not so plain.

            April is evil.  This will be explained.

            Tuesday is bad.  Ooooh, Tuesday is bad.  But if then, then it’s good!  Oh so good!  But that only means Thursday will be bad.  …And if that Thursday isn’t bad…then it will get there oh so swiftly.  Tuesday is the challenge I dread.  Thursdays are the punishment I see coming.

            Pandas are good, and pandas are cute.  But dolphins will take over the world.

            February and September, while evil, do not hate me.  They only dislike me.

            The clock and the pedometer are magic: treat them well.

            Teachers are helpers in disguise.  Seek their guidance, and use it well.