I don't even wanna live anymore

Please God 

Make somebody blast my fuckin brains out 

I wanna jump 

Jump and fly down 40 feet 

And splat right down on the concrete 

I'm a fuckin failure 

Such a disappointment  

I'm ashamed of who i have become 

I'm disgusting 

I'm a freak 

Just look at me 

bald head with a blueish mullet in the back 

I smell like a dead fish 

teeth yellow as can be 

i haven't washed my clothes in days  

my face is red 

I'm crying and congested 

Feel like I'm drowning and 

I can't breath 

Every time I climb a mountain 

theres a hundred more to conquer 

Well its all out 

All my secrets splattered on the table  

No turning back 

But where do I go from here 

Please let the earth crack open beneath my feet 

Let me fall 6 feet deep 

Let my existence burn to nothing  

like i never was alive 

I never opened my newborn baby eyes 

My feet never touched the floor and my hand never touched the sky 

No memories, No conscious, No mind 

No one ever knew me, my life was just a lie 

Only if I had never been born 

None of this would happen 

I wouldn't be crying in the dark hours of the night 

There would be no more endless days of suffering

I wouldn't wish I would die every night 

that it would be the last time i closed my eyes 

 

Why can't i just explode 

Spontaneously Combust 

My blood and guts all over the wall 

 

Why can't i just get hit by a speeding car 

My body torn in half  

But the drivers had to much vodka to register it 

 

Why can't someone shoot me 

In the head, instant kill 

White Chalk Outlines, and bodybags 

 

I wanna go out dramatically  

public suicide 

on the train tracks  

on in the middle of downtown

everyone's gonna know    

you'll be left traumatized