Dear Father

 

I don’t call you “Dad”

 

Because I don’t feel you know me

 

The thought of opening up to you makes me want to flea

 

You once called a gay person a “fag”

 

Which made me mad

 

Because she is not any different than you

 

Or me, because you wouldn’t know that

 

But maybe I like girls, and that’s not so bad

 

Fleeting feelings of isolation haunt me

 

The words of my bullies taunts me

 

But all's you know is I have a four-point-oh

 

Oh and you’re proud, you say, but how proud would you be

 

If you understood what I battled for you to see

 

That grade?

 

I battled an abusive relationship

 

Nightmares every night for months

 

After being forced into something I didn’t want

 

Dear Father, would you understand

 

If I told you I’ve had depression?

 

What would be your impression?

 

If I said sometimes I contemplate

 

 

Leaving the world you break your back

 

For me to live in?

 

Dear Father, you do not know me

 

The way you think you do

 

But it’s true, I love you

 

Even if you are not quite “Dad”