Counting (TW: Eating Disorder, Depression)
Location
Counting calories day and night,
Wondering if I should take this bite.
Anxiety muddled and riddled through;
Left feeling empty and 'whatever do I do'??
Measuring the inches day by day--
Starving and wasting away...
Tears and bones exposing me,
But still everyone just let me be.
I never wondered then, but I wonder now
How I could ever think I was a 'cow'
At 93 pounds and still losing more
How could no one see and open a door?
Scales and tape measures became my life--
Even considering going under the knife...
But with unhappiness came desire;
A need to become a rectifier.
To start a journey long and hard,
A lifestyle that I thought was barred.
A road to recovery that was long overdue,
But a path traveled by two.
His support and love helped me grow
And to learn to never think so low.
Though this was my journey to take,
Without him, its one I never would make.
And now I think I can make it on my own
To continue to add some meat to my bone.
Course he's there by my side,
But now my ED can't ever hide.