Dear Matthew, I often wondered about you. How you'd laughThe color of your hair, If you were strong, If you were scared.  I often wondered about you. My sweet little boy,My playful kin, My eldest brother, My might have been.  I often wondered about you. Why I had never seen your face,Why we didn’t speak your name,If you knew how I loved you,And if you felt the same.  I often wondered about you. And why it was only me who your memory tortured,Who always heard your voice,Who would have given anything for a kiss,Or for you to be given a choice. Yet, I no longer ponder, because I have seenWhat I needed to know in that gift of a dream.  The weight of you in my arms, Your solid, strong form, Your heaven blessed spirit,Your embrace, wise and warm.  I now fondly remember what I once pondered.  Your little peanut shaped head,Your kindred blue eyes,Your smell, which was home,Your reassurance that love never dies. I often think of the wonder you've given me, Matthew. How you have changed me,How your love has proven true,How I still have questions,And how I will always love you. Until we meet again,Mady