When I was younger

Peter Pan told me to never grow up

And there were times when I listened to him

There were times when I didn’t

But secretly I knew that I would

That I had no control

And it would happen, naturally happily

 

When I was younger I’d answer the phone

This is the Miller Family,, I’m Jasmine, who do you want to speak to?

And they’d ask for my mommy “sweetie”

They’d ask for my daddy “honey”

And I’d give the phone to them

 

When I was younger, but older than before

I’d answer the phone

Miller Family, Jasmine speaking, to whom may I direct your call?

And they’d ask for my mommy “honey”

They’d ask for my daddy “sweetie”

And I’d give the phone to them

Albeit with sass

And my mom would laugh

Don’t grow up to fast

 

As grew older, I’d still answer the phone

Hello?            

Hi sweetie, can I speak to your mommy?

Still with that sickly sweet voice

Like you’re talking to someone beneath them

No, my mother is not in right now

Oh honey!

I’m 15. 16. 17.

Oh…uhm… pardon me.

I’d give the message to my mom.

Albeit with sass

And my mom would laugh

Don’t grow up to fast

 

I was blessed

And cursed

With a younger looking face

I was blessed

And cursed

With a younger sounding voice

And I’d always grumble to my mom

About people treating me younger

Then need be

And my mom would sigh

And my mom would laugh

Don’t grow up to fast

 

One day I wanted to go to the mall

My mom wasn’t feeling well

And my dad wasn’t home

I told her I’d take the bus

Come on, I’m 17.

I can ride public transportation

By myself.

I’ll admit, I used a bit of sass

And still my mom laughed

But I could see through her eyes

But I couldn’t see into her soul

Because she wasn’t there

Her eyes looked at me

But she wasn’t seeing me

And then a tear

Slid down her cheek as she said

Don’t grow up to fast

When I got on the bus

I heeded my mother’s wishes

Tell the driver where you’re going

Sit as close to them as possible

Don’t stand up unless you’re getting off

If someone looks at you

Don’t look them in the eye

 

And if someone touches you

Scream

Make a scene, make sure you don’t go unnoticed

Let everyone know you are there

And that person is not with you

Scream

You’re still my baby girl

You’re still allowed to cry

Don’t grow up to fast

 

I forgot that one

When you got on the bus

We made eye contact

But I broke first

The lady next to me,

Got up at the next stop

And you sat next to me then

You smiled, showing your perfect white teeth

And asked me my name

I told you something like Genie

Or Jamie

How old are you like 20?

17 I said.

And you laughed

Wow they grow up fast

 

As I looked out the window

Watching the trees go by

You took this as your chance

I don’t remember what you said

Or what you did

It’s locked, safe in the hands of Pandora

I closed my eyes

Apologizing to my mom

And silent tears fell down my cheeks

Brushed quickly and roughly by my sleeve

I had forgotten my mother’s last rule

I’m sorry mom

 

My stop came, and I gathered my stuff

But your grip on my thigh tightened

And the look in your eye

Kept me from leaving

The bus driver went to pull off

But he looked in his mirror

And I held his eyes in my heavy gaze

Ma’am isn’t this your stop?

No-

Yes sir. Thank you. I almost forgot.

Thank you.

As I got off the bus,

Thank you.

As he closed the doors and pulled off,

Thank you.

 

That day

I had left for the mall as 17

When my mom picked me up from the mall

She could tell that I was a bit older than that 17

And when she got me home

Safe in our warm living room

She put on Mulan

We changed into our matching

Footy pyjamas

And she made big bowls of my favorite Kettle Korn popcorn

 

That night

She held me on the couch

She caught all my tears

And I shrunk 7 years in her hold

I told you she said

I begged you, she said

Don’t grow up too fast

And I cried.

I’m sorry mom.

This isn’t what I wanted.

I don’t ever want to grow up

 

That evening

Disney taught me

It’s okay to be young

That evening

Disney took me to Never Land

And I never wanted to leave again