afterloss
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There is a quilt on the bed in Shea's room, Pink, red, blue, green, and violet,Lace and stripes and polka dots,White pillowcases with crisp corners. There are books on the shelves, different genres,Stuffed in sideways and upways and frontways,old
I loved you even though I didn't know you
I held you even though you were never in my arms
You were with me even though I didn't know it
even with all this time
you've been on my mind
mama
some nights I fall asleep
drenched in sweat from
this vicious nightmare
a daughters weep
waking up with tears as I lay
The numbness is pervasive like smoke. It is fast moving silk. Sensual. Smooth.
And I chase memories. Ones I'm not sure I'd like to catch.