afterloss

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There is a quilt on the bed in Shea's room, Pink, red, blue, green, and violet,Lace and stripes and polka dots,White pillowcases with crisp corners. There are books on the shelves, different genres,Stuffed in sideways and upways and frontways,old
I loved you even though I didn't know you I held you even though you were never in my arms You were with me even though I didn't know it
even with all this time you've been on my mind mama some nights I fall asleep drenched in sweat from this vicious nightmare a daughters weep waking up with tears as I lay
The numbness is pervasive like smoke. It is fast moving silk. Sensual. Smooth. And I chase memories. Ones I'm not sure I'd like to catch.
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