body dysphoria

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I have waited so long for this.
Knees to chest, heavy breathing fills the stallTears dried, his imprinted cheek stings.The air feels thicker breathing in through a compressed chest, but it slowly starts feeling natural.
they say its normal for a teenage girl to feel not at home in her body it’s a great change in scenery
it happens every other time you see yourself in the mirror you feel like a ghost trapped in a cadaver sometimes tied down limb by limb
sometimes i find i want to press myself in a book like a flower to flatten my spine so my shoulders can be higher   but if my body wasn’t fragile
Welcome to the place where my mind often wanders Welcome to the corner of my brain where my doubts lie Where my anxieties are written in red ink, because in black ink I write my history, and blue is where I write my sorrow.
Dear my dysphoria, You may seem invisible to the rest of the world, but I see you. You’re always there in the corner of my mind. On good days, you stick to yourself, just staring me down.
I wanted to cry, I couldn’t breathe Through my gritted teeth I seethed What was mine, wasn’t mine Nothing was fine Nothing was fine   Breasts? Hips? Soft pink lips? Lipstick stained coffee sips?
How to drop your body offbehind a dumpster and transforminto a bird, eyes fluttering with eye shadowbeak puckered with lipstickFly into a club and look beautifulGo to the bathroom and transform
I'll never be enough, I'll never be tall enough to fit in with other boys, I'll never be cool enough to be surrounded by people, I'll never be 'one of the boys,' But that's ok,
I go walking down the street in my local town, just like you. I catch the same bus to go to work everyday, just like you. I browse some shops and buy food to provide for myself, just like you.
Atoms. Swirling together in cluttered cosmos. My bones are made of milk past its prime. My blood is made of cheap strawberry wine.   A bragging pulse. I am still alive. Only to verify
There is a woman in my mind whoseshell grows and crumbles, collapsesand is rebornendlessly. A statue, a castlein some ancient landthat was first etched on archaic blueprints and
While the world splits meAnd everythingIn twos,The only option that fits meI'm not allowed to choose.When I tuck up my hairIt's not to impress you.So don't tell me what I should wear.
There is a disparity between my mind and my body, like wearing a suit two sizes too small and pressing out desperately but unable to flee.   Looking in the mirror, facing fears,
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