Finding Myself

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"When I choose me, I'll also choose you." -K.L Marie
Teddy bears watch and lullabies play, mother sings to me, Her voice so soft and carefree, life is so simple  eat, sleep and repeat.   Toddler years I'm like a bull,
Let water run deep.  Let my river run like my feet as far they can go going with the flow.   Just another water drop, another person in a mob. Immersed in the vast expense
PredestinationThank you “Predestination” For being the beginning of my trans presentation.Going through each slide Is a wonder itself. It’s like taking a ride With Elf on the Shelf. Jane to John and many more,Except my st
I used to sit in my room on my phone all of the time, even when my parents weren't home. I always knew I needed something more, as I was tired of feeling so alone. I then got out a paper and pen and poetry started to flow.
When I was a child I was told that I was black but not black black. I didn't quite fit into the pre-packaged, tick-one-only boxes society had for me. Which made it difficult when trying to find my place. 
Listen I loved you,  I love you.  The light in your eyes seemed to fill my empty space.  You were there for everything.  You were my everything. I tried to be strong and say you could leave. 
Trying to find who I am Has never been more difficult; With depression and anxiety, Sexuality and gender How will I ever figure it out?
I am not good at feeling. Courage was never my strong suit. Right now, I am working on healing.  People know me as the “mute”.  
I'll spread myself across this page. be present a pound the stage . maybe then my memory won't fade. my life no longer a passing phase . try to sketch every piece of me in to eternity 
At first, I thought I was a mix of my sisters.   They were complete opposites: One was cautious, one was reckless. One did well in school, the other struggled. One was popular, the other had few friends.
Write whatever you can down
I am lost. I find myself on a path to a destination called nowhere, grabbing selfish desire and never thinking of my destiny. I cry out is someone out there, but all i do is waste air, all i do is speak to air. It seems no one cares.
    16 and confused. Who am I supposed to be and what am I supposed to do? 17 and unhappy. No friends, no point. School doesn't mean anything to me. What a waste of time...
As soon as
From the genesis of time, Man was created from the very bowels of the earth Flesh and bone
I see the world in shades of grey On the surface of it A hypocritical, superficial environment
I've left you hurt Dazed Confused Lost and what did you do? Called Wrote Cared
I want to know myself Because until I know myself I will be looking in the mirror Unable to see me I will get lost in a reflection That isn't mine And wear a mask of skin That fits so tight
I am a voice of power, a light of trust, a code of mystery, a spell of magic placed in this world. I wonder why evil witches cast malicious spells on the others.
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