memoir
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Waves
We talked about wanting to go to the ocean to scream at it.
Our voices getting swallowed up by the waves.
Maybe we still will.
For now, though, our tears are waves enough,
Chasm
It is so cruel how the world keeps on turning.
The sun dares to make its way out from the clouds.
The birds mock, the kids play.
The flowers bloom, the wind blows.
How is it not all weeping?
Ever So
We lost him three months ago.
It's impossible that this much time has passed,
but impossible things seem to keep happening
with unrelenting ease.
Impossible things used to seem exciting.
Walls
Watching the sun dance on the walls that encased my childhood
The walls that have heard the laughter and joy
of a little girl who's memories all come back to this place.
With its chipped baseboards
A Plea
Any moment stumbling past that isn't blanketed in a stifling heat
I find myself scurrying to peel back my curtains, and open my windows
Cracking the doors, begging the wind to blow through
Four long years you've been gone.We miss you.Every year we have to realize more and more that you're gone. The pain unbearing. My heart still tearing. No more advice. No more caring touch.
From being
a book
once sealed shut,
now open
and exposed.
With problems I fought
to be forgot,
on pages
that can't be closed.
It will be okay—
We see our skin everyday.
the flesh gripping tightly on our bones and protecting us from the world outside
as we shake a hand,
dry our eyes,
or contemplate in the mirror upon if I can fit in and erase my thighs,
Folds of purple satin cloth,
Swallow me.
The lancet from out of darkness,
Taunts me.
Creaking stairs choke on themselves,
begging for attention, I cannot give.
