Drown
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How simple is the solution really?
Is it really that easy to live with these feelings?
Can I learn how to live while hating myself?
Can I function in day to day life without some kind of help?
Some days I feel like a burning candleLong forgotten and wearing thinUntil finally I run outUntil finally I drown myselfUntil finally my light goes outAnd it’s all my fault
Now the leaves are turning to shades of oranges, yellows, and reds, 1
and the ash of yesteryear's past has eluded me, as have my regrets. 2
Look at my face
Look at
This
Face
I know her
These thin lips
Small eyes
Large cheeks
My eyelashes are short
But long enough for their purpose
They yank on their skates,
criss-cross the laces and
tug on my hand with stubby fingers.
The ice is thick and crusted with
white chips
Pondscum and cattails are hidden
under the marbled crust
I hear the sound of water,
gurgling, flowing, breathing with life
The sound of water slapping stones,
pushing past the verdant reeds
I hear the water join the song of a child,
Je suis dans l'océan depuis si longtemps que j'ai oublié que je me noyais
Quand je suis arrivé au rivage -les pieds sur le sable- la gravité m'a frappé
I'm talking about the metaphorical kind
(but not really).
You can die from stress.
My teacher once told me
if you got sick enough
your brain melts and you drown.
To put it bluntly,
It's okay because I've realized that no one really cares.
That no one can really hear me when I scream and claw,
Trying to climb out of this hole.
Surrounded by painful noises,
I have three ropes
Holding me down
About to go in
A lake & drown
At the end of these ropes
Are three red bricks
If I were to cut a rope
I'm falling further from myself,
Down into the depths that threatens,
To swallow me whole.
The water rushes about my face,
It fills in the space left by my body.
This is where I die.
The sun sets
both high and low
Someone lets
Their lover go
The waters deep
And the birds high
It's a small leap
Maybe he'll fly
Darkness surrounds him
I dream at night, as we all do
I'm at a loss of all control of my mind, lost in my dream.
The darkness is suffocating as it engulfs me entirely,
Physically, emotionally, mentally.
I use to like to swimSun shining down on meAnd there was always himHe had the key
But then he swam awayAnd left me out at seaThe ocean breeze then cameAnd set me free
The way you gaze into my timid eyes,
You have this way of conquering my breath,
So when you leave me I do not but sigh,
And dwell upon your beauty underneath.
The way I gaze on your enchanting face,
Those little children!
They hold it well,
but they haven't gone
nearly as far as we.
They don't depend
on this stuff,
this bliss
quite as fully as me.
Why humiliate me, then tranquilize me and worse yet make me feel something that I’m not?
You’re presence alone swiveled me while your words devoured my heart and those thoughts.
