'eating disorders' 'mental illness'
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When people ask what I eat
My heart begins to beat
I hid my grin behind my lips
As I lie between my teeth
I like the way I look in the mirror
without my glasses on
a blurry figure
with less imperfections
It’s funny how the illusion comes
I like the way I look in the mirror
without my glasses on
a blurry figure
with less imperfections
It’s funny how the illusion comes
An apology Letter to My Body
Dear body,
I am sorry
For once hating your small Asian eyes
And your mildly yellow skin color
because everyone around you was white
When he enters,
You don't hear it at first.
Because why would you think to listen?
He watches from the curvature
Your house in the valley between hemispheres.
Man, beast, disease,
Open the door
Get on my knees
Lean over the toilet
Make a peace sign
And shove it down my throat
It will sting
On that night, the night when I realized
Everything was a waste and
I’m not worth my own time.
Had you been there only for a moment
Just for me to beg you to go
I remember when it first happened,
it was 7th grade science class.
You never really forget the first time.
I was minding my own business working on homework when he said it.
"You're fat."
Panic is a bathroom sink,
Grime-covered and overflowing,
Tearing the skin off my hands
With its vicious heat splashing,
Burning cold through spilled ink.
the poison of your words has done nothing but strengthen
my stomach, the muscles taut beneath the skin.
the powder on my tongue from the pills
worth the retching and trembling bones,
Designed by you,
Assembled in America.
Can you make the cut?
Okay, you’ve read the magazine.
We’re not saying you have a beer belly
Designed by you,
Assembled in America.
Can you make the cut?
Okay, you’ve read the magazine.
We’re not saying you have a beer belly
Skipping meals, once again
how does this happen,
how is this a trend?
it isn't trendy
to starve oneself
yet here I am
So here I am
Sitting on the same pink carpeted floor since age 6
It’s gotten much dirtier and more grody since then
And fitting enough, I feel the same
Tonight was a horror night
Tears running down her cheek as she sits curled up in her room,
pleading, praying “Dear God will this be over soon?”
This isn’t the first time, nor the last
When my whole life gets turned upside down
you are the one that i turn to
the one that i think i can handle
You have been in and out of my life for awhile
Once again
I find myself
Staring at a
Body that I
Don't know.
What happened to
The dreams of
looking like your thinspo?
Or being someone else's?
