Anxiety depression mental mental health
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Dear Stranger,
When did you pick up this letter?
Are my transcribed words faded from sea winds or even the sticky sands that acts like glitter?
I am stronger than I think I amI am my biggest criticI am the worst artistI am the worst singerI am the worst studentI am a horrible friendI am a horrible poetI am my own destruction
My mind, it spins
Endlessly it seems, like the arms of a hurricane.
And yet, it is trapped, centered, in my body,
Next to you.
A small shift in weight.
A whimper.
You understand,
You touch me,
I'm better now, as best as can be
I see what everyone was saying to me.
It's not about fame, power or wealth,
life is about being strong and moving with tact and great stealth.
Because I love you,
I messaged you first.
Because I love you,
I gave you a completely awkward high five when you tried to hug me.
I feel the pain in my chest, it hard to breathe.
I got a feeling it's stress, what else could it be?
Will I make ends meet and see another day?
Or is this it? when every thing flies away?
I feel the pains in my chest, it hard to breathe.
I got a feeling it's stress, what else could it be?
Will I make ends meet and see another day?
Or is this it? when every thing flies away?
Opaque facade of happiness, painted by Mother's lying breath.
Nixed stories cover my ceiling, punctuated with Happily Ever After and never Death.
Sand in air shoots across sand ground.
I am here, but no where to be found
My mother, my father perhaps are in the water
But no where to be found. Like me, no where to be found.
Many opportunities mistaken with fear
Fear of reject
Fear of life
Fear of the world
Who would've known
Many times looking for an escape route
Their words felt like the noose around my neck
Their actions felt like the gun against my head
Their hatred felt like the blade against my skin
i had one foot in the river styx
counting change for the boatman
when i woke up
only wet with perspiration
i was mere moments away
from cold judgment
nothing in comparison to
I'm drenched.
the coagulating bliss of blue pigment
molding into gleaming red
does not frighten me- although it should
It stings. it sticks to me like syrup
My lungs keep beating
A dolldrum hum to the tock of the clock,
Keeping time of the drip drop of the minutes,
Lost in a sea of seconds too turbulent to navigate
The cicumfrence of my sorrow, too full to surpass.
*buzz buzz buzz*
(I don’t wanna get up)
(Ugh this phone is so bright)
(4:00am. Great)
*click*
Hello?
(Here we go again)
“Hey Bri, did I wake you up?”
*sitting up*
I'm alone with my thoughts again
Night is when I feel nothing but pain
I'm alone, I'm scared, get me distracted. Please, I wanna stay sane.
My brain is slowly killing me, it making me think images that make me feel lame.
Stop.
Stop staring at my chiseled, perfect body
Like my blank, senseless face
Does not exist.
Look,
Deep within my black eyes,
There is life
And death
Like ying and yang.
To my demise. Words cannot describe how emotional I was to make page 365. This year long story was my downfall and uprising surprising to become a person to wither yet bloom from the ashes and arise like the fire screeching phoenix.
Last year was full of tears but now I see everything clear. What lied beneath me were self fabricated fears. Does anxiety disorders ever heal?
