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Like a Hummingbird's Heartbeat
Location
Stop.
Stop staring at my chiseled, perfect body
Like my blank, senseless face
Does not exist.
Look,
Deep within my black eyes,
There is life
And death
Like ying and yang.
Look at me
Closely.
I may seem like a crack- head,
Shaking my head side to side
Vigorously.
But,
I am just insecure.
Trauma brought me here;
Deep down,
Within a place
I was scared to rise.
But,
to lift this trauma,
I must rise.
Even if it is painful,
I must rise.
Irony.
I sense stares of a million eyes,
Filled with disgust and
Weighing me down
Like the head of medusa
Trying to turn me into a stone
Statue.
But,
I must keep moving forward
And turn my eyes to the light
Ahead of me.
Once, felt alive.
Twice, felt dead.
This is a process.
Don't look back.
Don't turn around.
Move on.
My
Heart beats
Like a hummingbird.
But,
Will this beat continue
Because I'm not rising
Out of fear.
Or
Because of relief?
While I run and run
To heal?
Who knows?
But,
I know my worth.
Because of my worth,
I move on
Instead of facing death.
Because I face reality,
I am strong;
Strong enough to live
For a purpose:
Love.
Love is the answer.
Some say, what is love?
Some say, is love alive?
Is love the heartbeat
For the person down the street?
In the corner of my eye?
On the other side of the world?
Or in my dreams?
For me,
Love is
Freedom
from this cruel world.
Truly yours,
From the perspective
Of the insecure
That continues to heal
From this cruel world.
P.S:
Self-pity is contagious,
Be careful.
Knowing your worth
is an understatement,
Work on it.
Mental illness is a stigma,
Fight through it
And show the world
That you are more
Than your illness.
You are you.
And that’s beautiful.
Time has a process.
Your time will come
To shine
Like a star
In the pitch-black night sky.
Do not give up.
Never.