Please pull the car over

I’m dying I can’t feel

 

The soft, perfumed fabric

On the backside of my calf

 

Jumping through the windshield

Just to get your attention

 

A realm of broken glass

And subconscious straining

 

There are still soft cotton ball clouds

Blowing up like my T.V. static

 

The sky stealing dreams

The same way I steal hope from the past

 

Constant reminders of joy

Boxed in by concrete walls

 

They frame my present angst

Around a tear-stained photo of friends who won’t speak

 

Because you told me you

Weren’t happy and I

 

Still don’t know why on

Earth you would lie like that

 

Why would you think out

Loud that way when you

 

Said that you thought

I could help you

 

While I measure your

Thoughts in weeks instead

 

Of decibels like a faulty

Piece of hardware

 

Stratospheric bruises that we can

Share and talk about while

 

Roasting alive in an emerald

Multi-faceted mint prison

 

Of my own design

Because I’ve been retroactively

 

Corrected too many

Times to count on ten fingers

 

Watching “I love you”s spit,

Twist like fireworks of regret

 

Face down on the pavement that

I’m not supposed to know about

 

In the first place living

In the shade of an embrace

 

It’s beyond me

Last year I held my breath

 

Until I was blue in the face

That night was different

 

I laughed myself to sleep

There was still salt under my eyes in the morning

 

People are hard

To understand sometimes

 

But I really care and

Can feel my guts being

 

Blended over time

The price of caring

 

And you told you weren’t happy

And that maybe I could fix that

 

I wish that were true

But it isn’t not a lie

 

You were too busy moving on

So I finished this poem.