In high school I was confused

And not understanding why

All the people I went there with

Were determined to make me cry

 

Fat

Ugly

Stupid

Weird

Boys even used

Being a woman as an insult

 

“Dike”

Someone once called me

Please, Id think

Just leave me be…

 

These embers of shame

Smolder inside

Consuming me

Controlling me

And they just won’t die

 

Today I am 20

And I am still ashamed

I try to be confident

But my past has me in chains

 

Every time I look in the mirror

Voices echo in my head

Except they aren’t the voice of my bullies

It’s my voice instead

 

Why am I so fat?

I’ve tried to lose weight

Should I try to apply to Universities?

No, it’s too late

I’m not smart enough anyways.

My nose is so ugly

I look like a pig

My hair is disgusting

I should just buy a wig

 

I can’t buy these shorts

My thighs are too fat

I can’t wear tank tops

Cause you’ll see my fat rolls

Bikini season?

Is that a joke?

 

It’s all I think about

Day in and day out

Did they notice my tummy?

Or my big butt?

 

Then I worry all day

And fall away into this place

Where I beat myself up

Who I naturally am

Will never be enough

 

Bullies don’t just hurt you

They change your own thoughts

You start to listen

And believe

And suddenly agree

 

People die from this

Every single day

They are hurting themselves

In physical ways

 

Cutting

Anorexia

Drugs

Alcohol

Suicide.

 

Your words are powerful

Much more than they seem

They can take over a life

And ruin someone’s dreams

 

If you don’t participate in bullying

That’s fantastic, and you’re awesome!

But keep in mind

If you aren’t part of the solution,

You’re part of the problem.