Writer's Note: I wrote this when I was young and realized even when your a grown adult you still dont undestand true family value.

Its ok though, because all bad things in life that come to you will make you wiser and stronger. I do not hate, I forgive and love.

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It’s sad being looked down upon. Knowing that someone younger than you would always receive praise while you get the short end of the stick.

 

You have always envied the golden child. Her beauty, her frame, her talents, and anything else she did. It was always praised. Even if it was from doing the smallest of things. While they praise her, you do all you can to receive some type of acknowledgement.

 

To be born out of hatred was something bad, but yet here she is the golden child born out of love…Lost you say “Mother? Mother? Where is my mother?” and from there you realized that she is gone and always helping her.

 

You want help and they say “Help yourself”

She wants help and they say “I will always help you”

You want to be this and they say “You can’t”

She wants to be this and they say “You can”

 

When you’re in school you get A’s and B’s they say “That’s good” along with a light pat on the back. When she gets nothing but A’s they say “We must have a celebration” along with hugs and kisses.

 

You stand alone and you look at the, then you question them. “Do you believe in me? Do you have faith in me that I can do anything?” and your answer…. “No.”

Then when the golden child questions them if “They believe in her? Do they have faith in her that she can do anything” and their answer… “Yes”

 

I seek a real mother, but I do not have one. I seek a warm welcoming, but I do get one. I seek guidance in life, but I am my own guide.

 

I want a real mother, and not a fake smile.

 

Date: 7/14/2004