Behind the curtain

There is nothing uncertain

The world is mine to control

 

Away from the safety of my oasis

There is a basis

In the statement I am going to make

Please listen, it will only take

A minute

 

Within the curtain I am no less no more

I am whole, free to obscure, what’s more beautiful

Than obscurity?

Outside I am withdrawn, closed off, jagged

People think I am rude or lagging in social graces

I feel like I have too many faces

Out there I am other

Other than normal, other than expected

Too quiet. Too introverted.

 

Yes I admit!! At one point I converted

Tried to be a bubbly, smiley, witty and perfect

It just was not meant to be

I am as you see me

Alive and obscure

Certain shadows connect with my frame,

I speak a certain way

I daydream, I plan, I sleep, I pray

I am an anomaly all the way

What I am is not clearly defined,

Behind the curtain lie jewels

For the whole world to never

To seek or to find

 

 

Do not think me queer, or obtuse

I have no use for those who refuse to see

The intricate complexities of the human mind

What is am is what none of you will ever completely understand

I am a shard of glass stuck in the space between

A rock and a dark place

If you are lost, have faith

For I am lost too often

In the painful words of the past

Why I could not keep friends and

Why my relationships all seemed to end

Prematurely.

I was just not loud enough, brave enough,

Cool enough for them to stay

So I sent them on their way

With a universal look

Of pain, great pain

 

Behind the curtain lies someone

Who lives in her mind

Most of the time

Behind the curtain lies a girl who

Has never felt comfortable under the glare

Of the bright sun

Who has never liked the spotlight on her frame

Who speaks when she has to

But will not be silent when someone is in pain

 

Behind the curtain lie people who are different

So far from the usual it’s insane

They are completely incomplete but they function

They live with good intentions

Behind the curtain

Lies scars hidden in the darkness

But they glow upon my frame

Quiet wounds make no sound

But have a great deal of pain.