Mother, sister, father, great-uncle,

My best friend’s brother,

Or was it my cousin?

A house, a ship - in space or at sea?

Two bodies and candy - Grandma’s butterscotch

Loving hands that touch me gently

Melt into pokemon cards and swing sets

 

And then I am home, except

It is a home that I no longer have

I blink and I’m back

In the room that I left in

And remembrance slips away

Like mist in morning sunlight

 

I cannot recall faces and

Events evade my memory

Plotlines are lost to me, while

Motives have slipped from my grasp

Sounds have become deceptive

And scenes are now perverted

I can no longer taste the words that I spoke,

Only gag on their acidic backwash

 

I am left hollow with want

But can barely say what for

The unknown touch, soft as a butterfly kiss?

My childhood bedroom, posters and all?

The home that we made in the castle in the sky?

All I have is this aching,

Yearning in the very pit of myself

And an uncertain grief that plagues my heart