Her eyes remain glued to her scruffy shoes,
As she roams aimlessly around the streets of uptown Nairobi.
She wants to keep her eyes veered away from the world,
So nobody can see just how wet they are.
They shine in the dim orange of street lights,
As she fights the urge to cry of a heart so broken.

Her hands are in the pockets of her oversize hoodie,
Where she clenches them in a fist
That symbolizes just how deeply she is feeling.
Then she raises her eyes and sees,
A couple strolling leisurely hand in hand,
She remembers when she was like that couple,
Wallowing leisurely in the romance of a night saunter.
As a fresh stream of tears cascade down her face,
She wonders how it all went wrong.
As her heart breaks into another piece,
She wonders why she hasn’t moved on.

Another nail pierces her heart,
As she remembers the things his sister told her,
“He has moved on with her.
Check her Facebook page if you don’t believe me.”

Against her better judgment she logs on to Facebook,
And pretends like she is only there to update her status.
Then her unwilling fingers type his name on ‘search’
And when she hits ‘enter’, her life comes crashing at her feet once more.

There he is, in that shirt she advised him to buy just 6 months ago.
There he stands with that smile that disarmed her,
There he stands with her! That woman! She is everywhere!
His hand is on her waist, pulling her closer to him,
And hers is on his chest, feeling his heartbeat.
She immediately shuts her laptop down and tosses it away from her,
Screaming, “Move on! Move on! Come on, why can’t you move on?!”

She lies out on the floor and waits for it,
That feeling that has in the last few months become all too familiar,
That blanket that clouds any ray of happiness from shining down on her,
Leaving her in a cold cold world of sadness.
She knows just how pathetic it is,
Pining over someone who is busy showering another with his love,
Calling another the sweet names he used to call her,
Sleeping with another in the bed he first laid her out on,
Kissed her and told her he loved her.
Holding another with those hands…

Oh Lord the suffering of those in the cold world of sadness!


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741