Inside it is dark

There’s a monster in me

It is something I can not hide

The monster was created to shield

my fragile heart from pain.

Now I feel the monster breaking me to pieces.

 

The tiny, itty-bitty pieces

that the monster couldn’t reach are still dark.

How do I get this monster out of me?

When I sit in the closet, trying to hide,

it rears its ugly head and I put my arms up to shield

myself from its claws that leave red pain.

 

I must find another place to hide.

This treacherous game will leave me in pieces.

You’ll find me spread across the yard, shield

the children’s eyes, leave them in the dark.

Don’t let them know those pieces used to be me.

Their little hearts will not feel the pain.

 

If you don’t let the tiny feel the pain

It will be easy to pretend and hide

what really happened. That it was me

who ripped my insides to pieces

hoping that they would spread out in the dark

and stay hidden, maybe they’d create a shield.

 

But then I remembered nothing would hold the shield

together. I had to endure the pain

of being all alone in the dark.

Attempting to hide

from the monster that has been created from the pieces

of the lunatic that is me.

 

Please save me.

I am being attacked without a shield

to protect myself. If only I could piece

together the rest of my sanity, maybe my pain

would subside. I’ll crawl to the depths of the Earth to hide

from myself. From the monster that lurks in the dark.

 

Don’t pity me in my pain.

I destroyed the shield I would hide behind.

I created all the dark pieces in myself.