When someone you love dies
and you are not expecting it,
You don’t lose them all at once:
You lose them in pieces and fragments over a long time –
Their scents and fragrance begin to fade
from the pillows to the clothes;
the bathrooms and even their belongings
you search deep within you
hoping to find in your smiles their memories
but then realise in tears that they are gone
Far beyond your reach,
Maybe out there in the sky or the moon or maybe burnt in the sun
Probably in search of nothing, leaving you broken
amidst the lovely bones that had grown around their absence:
the connections-sometimes tenuous,
sometimes made at great cost,
but often magnificent-that happened after they were gone
and you begin to see things in a way that
let you hold the world without you in it.
You become brutally bitter like a bulbaceous beast
Taking no joy in songs but sorrows
And laughter become suspicious strangers
Leaving you a creature of grief and dust and bitter longings
When someone you love dies
And you are not expecting it,
You don’t lose them all at once:
You lose them in pieces and fragments over a long time –
You miss everything about them bit by bit
Beholding in you an empty place
where they once filled.
the nights begins to intensify,
So does your misery
you look around your apartment and find the clock ticking
you remember love’s gone six feet below and not breathing
you realise you can’t read their chats anymore
Or check out their profiles on Facebook, INSTAGRAM or Twitter
You remember those moments at the beach
The much fun you both had at the mall before now
And now everything you touch reminds you of their touch
When someone you love dies
And you’re not expecting it
You don’t lose them all at once:
You lose them in pieces and fragments over a long time
Their scents and fragrance begin to fade
from the pillows to the clothes, bathrooms,
and even their belongings
you search deep within
hoping you’d find in your smiles their memories
but then realise in tears that they are gone
Far beyond your reach.