When It Hit Me

Perspiration and butterflies

Trembles of anxiety

Drowning in blue with tangled chords-- annoying

Heavy metal hung around my clammy skin

Its band the color of blue too-- matching my polish-- matching my gown

And a million people are here, surely

Screaming, clapping, activating their prohibited noise makers


This is nothing like graduating kindergarten.


Suddenly we all file out like rehearsed-- waving goodbye to our adoring fans

Tables line the backroom with labels “A-M” and so forth  

As staff disorderly hand us our envelopes


It’s small.


The paper is smaller than I pictured

Yet its perfect fit in the holder is satisfying

After, I take pictures with self-made paparazzi

Then go out the designated door

Straight into my panda’s arms

So warm and cuddly

His lethal hug proof he’s extremely proud of me

More than my parents, but that’s fine


Then it hits with weight equaling that of feathers that are bricks in disguise.


Just within the span of two weeks

I finished high school and college

In my hands I hold my diploma and in a few weeks my degree too

Holy shit-- I’m going into university with 61 credits and a waiver out of first year seminar


If I ever were daddy’s little girl, this is the moment where I no longer would be.

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