You were the greatest woman

I'd ever had the privilege to know.

You were beautiful, still,

Lying motionless in the quiet darkness,

Breathing slow, distant,

Almost nonexistent,

And mine, escaping my lungs

With such rapid force

As I held back fierce, hot tears,

Standing in the doorway.

But you were calm;

You were always calm.

I walked in the room,

Shoes squeaking on the linoleum,

And met you there in the dark.

And I looked at you,

The way you lay,

So different, but exactly the same,

And beautiful as ever.

I'd break the silence with a whispered word,

But you'd be still.

Had you even heard me?

I'd hold your hand, delicate and soft,

But you wouldn't hold back.

Had you even felt me?

I'd squeeze, willing you to know

That I was there with you.

Silence loomed in the air,

Viciously taunting me

As I willed you to open your eyes,

Look up at me, smile gently,

And tell me it would be okay.

But you did not,

And I stood there, beside you,

Clutching at the last flicker of

Life left within you.

Then suddenly, as if by some sort of

Magic, you'd move--

Really, just a twitch--

And restore that hope.

You'd remind me that maybe

If I held you with me,

If I held your heart inside of mine,

You would never leave.

Tears--mighty, powerful,

Hopeful tears--rushed down my cheeks

As I watched the life slip from your being.

You’d given me that glimmer of hope 

Before the light inside you quietly burned out,

But I was not angry or deceived or distraught

Because you’d given me so much more.     

You’d given me your life.