Streams of watermelon juice dampen my cheeks

Sprinklers in the summer made my cheeks drip

Boots make contact with puddles and cause ripples

Bare trees leave wet piles and hours of fun in the leaves

Melting snowflakes glide down my cheeks

Cheeks fully submerged in a warm bath after a cold day

Rainshowers on my birthday lightly coat my face

Droplets fall from leaves long after and trickle down my skin

 

The faucet runs loudly

Covering the noise of my mistakes

The water in the toilet bowl is discolored from bile

Tears jump from my nose and cheeks onto the cold tile

Wrists warm with fluid that should not be there

Hard streams of water pelt my body like bullets I wish were there

Creating holes in the mast of my being

I can not sail

 

Large sweatshirts with burn holes from a desperate attempt to find an escape like others

My form is covered

I’m only a sweatshirt now

My mother asks if I’m cold

I always say yes

I’m cold to feelings and people

You can still drown in calm waters

Lungs inflate with air that is easily replaced by water

 

We are all boats

Life is the ocean

Death is the rocks

The boats will inevitably be swept into the rocks

We are all heading towards a path we can not control

There is no heaven or hell, only holes

Holes in the ground

People paying to be fed lies about their loved ones going to a better place

 

My better place is the bathtub

I float there as my tears mix with the water

Indistinguishable from one another

Towels wipe away the story and the mirror helps me paint the mask back on

Blankets wrap me with a false sense of security

A closed bedroom door places me in a box

An empty house puts a lock on the box

 

Gentle whines cut through the barriers

Brown eyes and a slight wiggle bids me to open up

Legs being crushed by 90 pounds of love

Like the sun peaking out after a storm, a smile appears

Wet cheeks and puffy eyes are replaced by warm affection

She lets me know I am in the pack

I am not alone

Dogs are pack animals

Humans must be too