I draw my smile on with ease,

with lipstick as red as your cheeks,

when you read the words

“I like you more than I’d care to admit”

 

words I wrote in haste, in hopes of stopping

myself from falling apart from the seams;

I fell to the sound of a Polite Rejection

and a heavy sigh instead, and landed:

unraveled, Pulled away, pulled apart,

ripped and barely recognizable

 

Landing hurt, but realizing that the

signs were actually symptoms hurt more;

I misunderstood, misread, and now

I lay surrounded by threads

of things that used to be a part of me,

vague memories really, but the emotions

still feel like yesterday

 

How unfair is it that the one responsible

for my undoing has become so

inextricably intertwined with me, myself,

and I? It was my mistake really,

I thought we were one and the same,

so I let you occupy my mind in such

regrettable ways

 

We no longer speak now,

because words would lead me to extend

an already too long list of reasons why,

why we belong together; I no longer speak now,

I don’t want the depth of the cracks

in my painted smile to reveal that

there’s nothing left to unravel