It is not

That I mean to shun you

It is not

That I hate to see you

It is not

That I dislike you.

 

I do not

Ignore you" just 'cuz"

I do not

Want you to hurt

I do not

Not care.

 

It is not

Introversion.

I am not

Depressed.

It is not

Anything you did.

 

It is I.

I. I. I.

I want to be friendly.

I want to be pleasant.

I want to help people.

I want to understand.

To love.

To speak.

 

But here am I,

Again, standing

On this crevice,

Leaning, stepping.

 

Yet in the end,

I cannot step off:

For I fear the fall.

Falling, trusting.

 

And you beckon,

But I refuse

For not the landing,

But the courage

 

I do not possess

To take the step

And lose control

Even a moment.

 

Because I hide

And smile within

Behind the glass

Of Composure.

 

Because I turn

Away from outreach

And inside, self:

I will not trust.

 

I will not let go.