I still remember what my former life was like

I was the jock, can you believe it?

For fourteen years I wore the number 7

The crowds cheered for me

I thought my team was my family

I thought my family were my number one fans

I thought my coaches were like parents

Your whole life you think one way

Your whole life can shatter in minutes

You see it was sophomore year

I thought I knew exactly what I wanted out of life

I knew I'd go to college with my friends

I knew I'd play sports in college

I knew I'd have that family forever

I knew I'd want to coach one day

It's a shame what you think you know

One basketball game was all it took

I was running down the court 

Then suddenly I wasn't

I was on the ground screaming in pain

My dad carried me off

Turns out I tore a ligament in my knee

All the sudden life came in flashes in my head

I knew I would never be what I thought I was

but that wasn't even the beginning of my story

throughout eight fucking months life spiraled to hell

Just six weeks after my first surgery

I break my kneecap in half

wtf

How does that just happen to a person?

I lost all my faith

It was a downward spiral

But it wasn't over yet.

Another six weeks passed

Another doctors appointment

Another day sent home crying

You see they found a bone infection in my kneecap

It won't grow back together

It might be too dangerous to keep

It might have to be amputated

hah

I was a 15 year old girl, who might have to have her leg amputated.

I then wore a PICC line in my arm for

six

more

weeks

In that time, they thought I had developed a staff infection in my PICC line

For a week waiting on results the doctor told me to

"have a healthy fear of dying"

Is that even a thing?

By this time I had another birthday

So much for a sweet 16

Finally they had done my fourth surgery

I was broken.

I lost everything that once was my world

My Team.

My Family.

Myself.

I was a 16 year old girl who had just been stripped of her identity

I was so deeply depressed

I ate lunch by myself in the bathroom

I came home every night and cried

I hurt myself.

But one day my teacher came to me

She asked me to be a part of the UIL Prose and Poetry

She asked me

I accepted and I found myself again

Through words I found out who I was supposed to be

I didn't find the old me

But who I truly am

I went on to compete at state

There

on that stage

accepting my medal

I felt whole

I looked into the audience 

I saw everything

My mentor.

My bestfriend.

My savior.

I knew that there was a point to all of this

Everything I went through was for a reason

I was meant to find poetry and theatre

The tragedy that had sent my life into a downward spiral of hell and agony

It was well worth the lesson and life it had brought to me

It was a blessing.