These three events shaped me into the person I am today;

Although they aren't the only ones, they definitely come into play;

If I told you what went on inside my mind, there's a chance you wouldn't know what to say.

 

Some things in my life have gone untold;

As I sit here and write out these things, the truth will soon unfold. 

These are a few memories I solemnly loathe.

 

I didn't know it then but my life would never be the same;

At the age of two, a father figure of mine took his life away;

Then, I thought he was gone for a while,

But now I know he's gone for more than just a day;

It seems as though no matter how much time passes by this pain just won't go away.

 

It sucks having him stuck in my memory;

Because I'm not quite sure if he actually rememberes me;

I honestly just wait until nighttime just so I can get onto my knees;

I wonder rather or not he can actually hear my pleas.

 

At the age of seven, someone else I loved went up to heaven;

This time however, cancer seemed to become the depressant;

For most people, Thanksgiving and Christmas are a bit pleasant;

But it isn't for me considering I can't feel his presence.

 

He of course is another person that I love deep down within;

I hope he doesn't know about any of my sins;

I will always remember him as one of the greatest men;

And even though I can't remember all of the moments that we shared,

I hope he knows that he isn't a memory from way back when.

 

Another event that caused me to be the person that I am today would be a time when I was around the age of eight;

In my life, a ton of people caused me to hold a lot of self hate;

It got so bad that it was almost too late.

 

There was a point in time where people caused me to not wanting to live my life;

It started to get so bad that I was willing to give up without a fight;

I really was trying, up until one night;

I'd officially reached my limit and everything would finally be alright.

 

I looked and I searched but I couldn't find what I needed;

I asked everyone in the house, I tried and I pleaded;

If only they would've helped I might've succeeded, but no one was willing to give me a hand;

I guess it's true that everything happens for a reason.

 

I sometimes think and I ponder;

What would've happened if it all would've ended right then and the only sound that could be heard was thunder?

What would happen if I didn't constantly cry and think that my bed would be the best place to hide up under?