Today I Miss
Today I miss
Being mentally stable
Being hale and whole
Having a brain with chemicals made and mixed
In the right proportions
Feeling an ounce of motivation
Enjoying things
Today I miss
Getting sleep every night of the week
Only staring at the ceiling for two hours waiting for sleep
Instead of the whole night through
Only to greet dawn from the wrong side with a yawn
An exhaustion-teared glare
And a chill in my bones from a restless night
Today I miss
Naked candor
Trusting my loved ones with what would be
My innermost secrets, if I had any
Not squirreling away my painful emotions
Or lack of any at all
To protect them, to protect me
Today I miss
Calling falling asleep at 2 a bad night, not a good one
Giving a single, solitary hoot about anything
Freely spilling my guts to family rather than faceless strangers
But I guess I don’t miss the cruelty of my ignorance
I just dread finding out what other prejudices life will rid me of
What I still have, what will be taken to rid me of them, too