Of Time

Time. Time is such an important thing, you never realize that you have to consider.

I realized the importance of time, when my time was spent on someone who I thought would make themselves mine, but they faded away, without saying goodbye.

I matured beyond my years when I saw that I wasn’t the only one to go through lonely pains, and I didn’t want to feel alone, or dejected or rejected… I needed something more. I reached out to help tape up what I thought was an aching heart and found a world where I wanted to create.

I learned to use my time, started writing of my past, which helped me get past the skeletons I had closeted out of a fear of being stained.  The one I thought cared, taught me much about myself, all my faults: what I never wanted to get out, so I began to focus on myself. That’s when I felt

Like a woman, for the first. I felt like a woman, because I pondered things beyond my years, I felt desired for the first time, seeing myself as more than just a little girl.

Wisdom entered into the portals of my mind, but not all at the same time, it only came as I began to realize the important lessons I was learning from my past. A Time when I felt worthless was being addressed and I never wanted to feel that way anymore, so I sought what worth I could which was helping those who were unfortunate, hurting, and poor. 

From then I created a dream; I wanted to topple the impossible so I began to see myself building things that would change the world, inventing solutions to everyday problems- I wanted use this time I now had free to further other people’s dreams because I learned from my own childhood to utilize my creativity.

From this venture, I saw I was more than what others thought.  Started making adult decisions, going through adult revisions, and for the first time sought help when times got rough. Began to use my time wisely, with the people and things I really cared about, because they couldn’t be taken for granted- unlike in  this life-changing moment when I was.

Time is precious, time is a gift. People protest at me that I am too young, there’s no need to hurry and finish or start what I want; to live a life. The life that I want is based on that time, because it opened my eyes to the world of hurt and the need for being in the now. Time spent on myself, how to be pretty, or how to look skinny  are all things that only cause doubt.

When did I grow up? What do I know now? Well, I’ll tell you, it’s that we’re more alike than the world likes to sell. This issue of time is that we’re always pushed to go places, but people are still people, some with many faces. I learned to love on those with all or none, it’s definitely not easy, but from my own life I know everyone has a story to tell. The takeaway from this, as I now say it in rhymes, is that growing is about how you react, and it’s something that does take time.


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