' 'growing up
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A child’s crayon
bent, worn down
flakey, smooth
she has used it
for all her notebooks
I look in the mirror and see the little girl that was so excited about growing up and I wonder what she would think of me now with tears in my eyes and cuts on my thighs.
pen and paper
thoughts and quiet
go hand in hand.
with the worst of them all
the depths of the human mind,
the known details of mankind
One word
One vicious word that makes us shudder
C-a-n-c-e-r
Your world is crumbling, therefore so is mine
You are paler, weaker, sadder
I become the adult here
I used to detest life. Sometimes I still do. It was deep yet shallow and still I could not find my place Above the waves
Wake-Up Caro (Ka-Row)
New world, new culture, moving to the US
Wake-up Caro
You’re no longer a kid
It’s time to let go
Wake-Up Caro (Ka-Row)
New world, new culture, moving to the US
Wake-up Caro
You’re no longer a kid
It’s time to let go
What is it to be an adult?
A grown-up?
Oh to be free,
to have control over all the
little
details and choices
We went stargazing once,
how close the stars seemed.
We lied there talking
about our future and dreams.
We were so young
Never had a mind of my own nor a thought on my own.A dream of my own nor a life of my own.Society, like a puppet, on a string.You controlled me. Not anymore. I am not a child anymore nor am I a follower.But I am mad.Look around. Brothers are dying
At first, just a thought.
A need for something more, maybe warmth or maybe light.
A spark has been born. Small, but unwilling to burn out.
And from that spark without any doubt, a flame.
Gotta say I'm sorry
Sorry for not communicating,
Shutting down and not completely being open.
You have to understand
That I,
Myself,
Am a child
And I'm trying to understand
Why couldn't the other kids notice?
Why couldn't they see the ugliness that was beyond the playground?
Why was it that only she could see that her mother was crying, alone, and tired?
I realized I was no longer a kid,
When I left the sea
The sand leaving scratched memories,
I want to tell you something, it's a little crazy to me.
I think I'm growing up, can this really be?
My chest is getting bigger, my legs have grown longer.
I think I'm growing up, my mind has gotten stronger.
i think i changed the most
when he and i broke each other’s hearts
in a playground game of catch
Sweet Ghost—
Remember the mornings?
When we watched rainbow rangers,
And conquered with them every danger.
When pill bugs would ignite rapture,
Slow and steady
Soft and sweet
Things are calm
And I'm calm
Focusing on the now
The future
The past
But things are catching up
Faster and faster
Before I knew it,
or had time to finish blinking
or taking a deep breath,
blue caps fell down around me
and those I have known for so long -
our tassles glittering in the fluorescent lights,
I watched cancer take four lives.
It's been six years since the first,
but I've watched four people die.
Watching them fade as I sit on standby.
First goes their hair, and then comes the pain.
once upon a time
i showed my age by holding up this many
i wanted to be an astronaut or a doctor
i was afraid of everything
but had an unwavering curiosity.
When I was seven-and-ten
My mother, she would say,
“You’re not ready for college.
You’re going to lose your way;
Forget all of your dreams
We were told as a child that we would never get old
At least that is what Peter Pan told
But as the years go on and time pass by
Our life grows before our eyes
One minute your at elementary school
oh, i’ve always known to clean the dryer filter after every load
I’ve always known how to fold
I’ve always known how to pee in a cup
But I’ve never really known how to grow up
Sand at my feet,
pocket full of brocken shells,
each wave a rythm to a different beat;
This is what life could be.
The sand the wave the sea.
How far is my reach, from here on the beach?
Neighborhood kids playing with balls
now they're playing with drugs.
*tick*
"I want to be an astronaut when I grow up"
now they've dropped out.
*tick*
"Mommy can I get this toy car?"
Thick lips, thick thighs, wide hips, big eyes.
I knew I was growing up when my body began to change.
At first it was subtle,
Thick lips, thick thighs, wide hips, big eyes.
I knew I was growing up when my body began to change.
At first it was subtle,
In the soft glow of the morning
I roll out of bed and stare in the mirror
My eyes searching for the thing I've lost.
Yesterday: my limbs like a sapling,
my face like a lilypad
Today: my waist like a tree,
Love.
That’s all I really remember when I think of her.
Her arms wrapped tightly around me,
Her charming southern accent,
And the way she looked at everyone with love in her heart.
What is growing up?
When does it start?
Did it Happen right now?
Is it an art?
Does it happen in one day, or two, or three?
Does it start when you can walk on your own two feet?
Am I grown up?
I once was, young, small.
I wasn't very tall.
I always knew santa wasn't a myth .
Back at the age I had a lisp.
When I packed my first folder
I knew I was getting older.
I used to think that if I sung to the rain it would go away
Ending my already bad day
Of having to stay indoors and listen to them argue
I used to think that
If a boy calls you names that means he likes you,
I try to hold on to my doll.
She is so fragile still.
I brushed her hair, can't let her fall.
I'm deep in dreams, then hear the call
Of Mom, "The food will chill!"
I try to bring along my doll.
It was in the 100 degree heat of that Visalia afternoon
that my friend recalled the argument that had taken place just moments before
From taking baby steps
To picking out your first day of school fit'
To worrying bout' who likes you
To acne
To growing mustaches
To boyfriend or girlfriend trouble
Childish things I use to say.
Childish want of things to go my way.
Childish sitting in school all day wishing I could do nothing.
Childish waiting on people and expecting them to do something.
I remember sitting in my daddy's lap
But I'm too old now
I would break his legs if I sat on him
I'm not his little girl in my eyes
In his eyes I will always be
When I look in a mirror
Me and you against the world,
as youth,
it felt this way forever.
Craftsmanship of cardboard
forts to hold our secrets,
this our tether.
In our bubble we formed trust,
from boxes and bruises.
My breath caught in my lungs
I furrowed my brow
I bit my tongue
And I thought, "How?"
I was scheduled to work
Almost 40 hours
Wanna stab my eyes with a fork
My mouth tasted sour
Some days are just different than others,
Some are bright and clear
But sometimes you release the pain,
And shed a tear
Lately, I've been talking to God more often,
Asking him how I fit into all this,
What was the turning point
That made me grow?
Was it when I caught my first bug?
Or when I got my first job?
Raisins.
Vile, dried, bitter fruit of the sun –
Grandma always said, they’re just grapes that got left outside too long.
Raisins in the sun: In my lunch box they go.
Please mom. Please don’t make me eat these.
It isn’t that I didn’t see it coming or wasn’t warned
It’s that I never imagine it happening so fast
As though I hopped into a time machine
and now I’m here
Watch? Check. Calculator? Check. Pencil? Check. Papers? Check. Me? Check.
Time. Go.
My eyes slide over the words as the conveyor belt at the grocery store,
while my mind scans the bar codes of each sentence.
You see, When I take a moment and look back. Back at all the moments in my past, I see all the dreams I've left behind. All the scenes I left unseen and I think, I think "where did the time go?" When I close my eyes and listen, Just listen to you
I used to wake up next to you,
But now my concrete eyes struggle with your absence.
All that’s left is empty space,
W e jumped into the pool late one night,
E veryone’s clothes still on, ears waterlogged.
L ooking down, I saw my pink shirt
C linging to the cold curve of my hip,
The Grocery Game
I enter the sliding glass doors
My purse in my hand
I take breath, in and out
The young me knew no heartbreak,
My happiness grew free.
Like air under the treetops,
Like the buzzing of the bees.
The young me saw the sunlight,
My childs eyes did shine.
And then I saw her beauty,
Nobody ever told me that growing up meant leaving things behind,
that dreams don't just appear but are to be fought for,
When I was little,I went out to play as if nothing mattered.When I was volunteering,I went out to do my job as if every step mattered.When I was little,
I used to go through life Thinking it would be easier To always to be quiet, say yes And be a people pleaser. Though I thought it worked for some time It felt like smooth sailing Little did I know My own personality was failing, To grow, to blosso
