This was never about love

Or the romantic notion

That you still cared for me.

It wasn’t in some doomed attempt

To get me back like I might have hoped

Those short few months ago

It wasn’t a heartfelt apology

For my pain or my misery

Not a realization of the pain

Your actions may have caused me

It wasn’t done maliciously

With the intent to do me harm

Nor to drag me through past

And undo the healing that I’ve done

It wasn’t done to keep you in my mind

To stop any progress moving on

This was selfish

A means of telling yourself

Showing yourself that you didn’t ruin a life

My life

And you use whatever excuse is convenient

Lying even to yourself

With denials of reasons

And forced ignorance

Telling anyone who wants answers

“I don’t know”

But you do

You just won’t acknowledge them

Whatever reasons you may have

Cause there has to be a reason

Why you do the things you do

Even if not always thought through