Sunshine

They call me “Sunshine”
I like the compliment.
I’m a positive person, most of the time.
I like to smile, like to laugh.
I like to make you feel special.
I like to help others, to cheer you up.
I like to be a friend, a shoulder to cry on.
We should all be happy.

Yet sometimes it’s not that easy.

My nickname started as Irony.
When I had a bad attitude.
I hated everything.

They told me to smile, they told me to try.
But my name isn’t “Sunshine”.
I don’t have rainbows shooting out my ass.
This is who I am.
But not who I wanted to be.

And so “Sunshine” was born.
A lonely girl desperate to be charming.
Desperate to change.
Desperate to be happy.

So, I don’t let them see.
I must keep up this facade.
A smile on my face.
All day.
Every day.

But sometimes the old “Sunshine” still comes out.
That sad lonely girl.
We’ve all heard it before…
“The ones who have the biggest smiles, sometimes have the biggest trials.”

If I force it long enough, it’ll start to come easy.
And it does.
It comes easier…

But every now and then, it starts to peek out.
And I start to scream.

This is my motivation.
This is my dream.
To keep this happy “Sunshine”
Don’t let the evil gleam.

Keep my head up.
Remember to smile.
Tear my hair out at home.
Still wear the lipstick in perfect style.

But that doesn’t mean I’m crazy.
If I was, I wouldn’t care.
Care about your smile
Or when your sad.
Care about your triumphs,
Or the struggles you’ve had.

The truth is,
I have a heart that’s broken.
And sometimes it makes me sad.
But I’ll keep putting it out there if it means you can be happy.

I struggle at times with all these wild thoughts in my head.
A single tear is shed.
Time to pick up my head.

And keep walking.

Walk towards the end of the rainbow.
Have them shoot out of your ass.
Find the pot of gold.
Make the smiles last.

Happiness won’t end as long as I keep walking.
Never stop walking.

((The End))