I want to forget. 

But I have to remember 

I have to remember your face

Your smile

Your bright blue eyes that stood out whenever you wore that shirt. 

 The way you would take my hand when I was a little girl

The way your gruff exterior fell away just for me. 

The way you pulled me up on your lap

And read aloud whatever I wanted. 

The way your voice sounded when you called me Annie,

You're still the only one that could

The way you looked the first time I saw you helpless. 

The way you would reach out your hand

And grasp onto mine as if it were a lifeline. 

The way you said you just wanted to go be with grandma in heaven. 

The feeling I had when you did. 

I'd never felt so alone. 

I'd never felt my heart shatter like it did when I heard the news. 

I want to forget. 

But I have to remember. 

Because as long as I have these memories,

I still have you.