Sometimes when I think about you, I feel slightly disappointed in myself. To know that I let my guard down; to know that I let you in without thinking twice about slamming the door shut behind me.

 

I never really thought about someone so much as I think of you.

 

I have never loved someone as much like I love you.

 

My love.

 

My hopes and dreams.

 

When I think about you, an image of you laughing and smiling always appears in my head. I always think about the times you would kiss my cheek over and over again without hesitation, without worry if anyone is watching us or not. You didn’t care. You just held me close and kissed me all over again while I just looked down at the floor, embarrassed beyond compare. But even though I felt like that, I’ve never been so proud to call you mine.

 

At night, my thoughts of you always seem to creep into my dreams. I always dream about how amazing it would be to be with you forever, even if forever doesn't really exist. Even if something happens that makes us go our separate ways, having the time to be with you will be time well spent to me, even if my heart is broken. I wouldn’t regret one second of what we had.

 

There is love in the air.

 

There are tears on the floor.

 

The fearing of knowing love can just walk out the door.

 

You may say you will never leave me; that for now and forever we will always be together. But yet, you forget my dear, that even the happiest of poems have a rhythm of sadness. Even the words we calmly write on a piece of paper can leave a trail of blood, for words aren’t just words for people like me. For someone who has cried while laughing, sung while their heart is being broken, watching patiently while a stranger died, pain is no longer felt by me.

 

Pain is silent now, but yet pain is no longer my own.

 

It a bundle of other’s pain: their fears, their hauntings, their broken desire of being whole again.

 

I cannot sit here and tell you how much it doesn’t affect me, for it does. There is nothing more painful than watching the ones I love slowly decay into a body of emptiness.

That’s why when I think of you, my fear consumes me. The fear of knowing that at some place, in some time, you might lose yourself completely as I once did.

 

You might lose the person who I have grown to love.

 

For someone as yourself should be forbidden to lose their way.

 

For someone like you should be forbidden to shed a tear or grieve.

 

I just wish that your pain will become my own as well.

 

For someone like you should never be in pain.

 

For you.. I will endure the anything.