I would change the way she'd look at me

So that I can feed off her smile

So that the autumn leaves

Dead on the ground would rejuvenate

And spring to life clinging on the nurturing tree

 

I would change our distance

So that tightly I could hold her

Us against the odd world

Fighting fear with fury

Creating warmth in a cold car

 

I would change our lives

So that it was just us

Sailing around a world of eternity

Living adventurously without worry

And so that life would come first

 

But as I walk through the silence

The corridors of my heart

My head gives out

Only to realize she cannot watch me

Smile nor suffer

 

In reality I want to change myself

I want to kill the feeling that she gave me

I want to drown the memory of her smile

I want to run from our past and exhale the poison she injected into me with her soft breath

Only because I was selfish enough to cast her out of my life

Alone on the coldest night of my life