Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins

Once upon a time a story was told

A tale well known and ever so old

Adapted to suit the mind of kids,

Now wrong and lost, wandering amid

So I am here to share today

The truest of truths known to date

A tale with a lead as white as snow

And her seven deadly sins, or 'dwarves' you know.

The story begins as normal you see,

With a magic mirror and a jealous old queen

The queen hated her step-daughter, Snow

For stealing the crown of the beauty show

Snow White was dubbed "fairest of the land"

And the queen was left with an apple in hand

So she locked Snow away and wanted her dead

And after her escape, said "Off with her head!"

But Snow White ventured far far away

Into the woods for safety she'd stay

But wouldn't you know, there she would find

many different men who were not very kind

First she stumbled into a man named Lust

(Who was more intrigued by the line of her bust)

Snow pleaded for help or maybe house and home

But Lust looked her over from the stature of a gnome

"I'll show you the way toots, I'll offer my bed!"

Snow eagerly followed with an innocent head

Toward a cabin, and standing outside

Stood a proud old dwarf with the name of Pride

He seemed a little snooty, a peg above the rest

Loitering boastfully, thought he was the best

"Another one Lust? That's two today!

I'm tired of females ruining my display.

My plants are renowned, the best all around,

So keep your hands to yourself you filthy handed clown!"

Snow entered the cabin with grumbling defeat

These men were starting to look not so neat

Next was the face that belonged to Wrath

And for personal spite, offered a bath

Included with the tub was a toaster and sponge

Homemade electric chair...oh, what fun!

Wrath had his reasons for rage against the girl

But you'll find out later when the story unfurls

Instead of a bath, Snow requested tea

So there in the kitchen she met Gluttony

He seemed a rather wide dwarf with crumbs here and there

And spaghetti sauce and pie were lost in his hair

The kitchen was a mess, along with face

So Snow White opted to find a different place

She ventured to discover a sofa made of cloth

And embedded inside was the dwarf named Sloth

He seemed hazy and lazy, dazed and confused

And when they urged a 'hello' he grunted to refuse

Snow White felt defeat among these dreary lads

"There must be one who isn't half bad!"

"Nope." said Pride "I am the best."

"Shut up." said Lust "There's another fellow left."

They showed Miss White to the room upstairs

And allowed her to enter a mysterious lair

On the other side of the shiny white door

Was a well furnished room from ceiling to floor

The room was filled with jewels and treasure

And there sat a dwarf of unequal measure

His name was Greed, a spiffy, young guy

With money galore and dressed to the nines

"Can you help me sir? I need a place to stay?"

"If you want my assisstance, you will have to pay."

Frustrated and lost, Snow began to leave

But a knock at the door made her slowly repreive

Remember how the old tale tells of seven,

But wait, there's six? Is one in heaven?

No in fact there's one person more

The character knocking on the outside door

She's a lady of green, the leaader of the gents

With plans of demise so largely instense

She's known as "Queen" all throughout time

But in this tale she's Envy, jealousy divine

As Snow whittles the knob, quite prepared to die

A huntsman sweeps in from somewhere nearby

He murders Envy and all of her dwarves

With handsome swiftness and little remorse

"Thank you kind knight! What is your name?"

"I'm the slayer of sins, or Messiah, madame."

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