Once upon a time a story was told
A tale well known and ever so old
Adapted to suit the mind of kids,
Now wrong and lost, wandering amid
So I am here to share today
The truest of truths known to date
A tale with a lead as white as snow
And her seven deadly sins, or 'dwarves' you know.
The story begins as normal you see,
With a magic mirror and a jealous old queen
The queen hated her step-daughter, Snow
For stealing the crown of the beauty show
Snow White was dubbed "fairest of the land"
And the queen was left with an apple in hand
So she locked Snow away and wanted her dead
And after her escape, said "Off with her head!"
But Snow White ventured far far away
Into the woods for safety she'd stay
But wouldn't you know, there she would find
many different men who were not very kind
First she stumbled into a man named Lust
(Who was more intrigued by the line of her bust)
Snow pleaded for help or maybe house and home
But Lust looked her over from the stature of a gnome
"I'll show you the way toots, I'll offer my bed!"
Snow eagerly followed with an innocent head
Toward a cabin, and standing outside
Stood a proud old dwarf with the name of Pride
He seemed a little snooty, a peg above the rest
Loitering boastfully, thought he was the best
"Another one Lust? That's two today!
I'm tired of females ruining my display.
My plants are renowned, the best all around,
So keep your hands to yourself you filthy handed clown!"
Snow entered the cabin with grumbling defeat
These men were starting to look not so neat
Next was the face that belonged to Wrath
And for personal spite, offered a bath
Included with the tub was a toaster and sponge
Homemade electric chair...oh, what fun!
Wrath had his reasons for rage against the girl
But you'll find out later when the story unfurls
Instead of a bath, Snow requested tea
So there in the kitchen she met Gluttony
He seemed a rather wide dwarf with crumbs here and there
And spaghetti sauce and pie were lost in his hair
The kitchen was a mess, along with face
So Snow White opted to find a different place
She ventured to discover a sofa made of cloth
And embedded inside was the dwarf named Sloth
He seemed hazy and lazy, dazed and confused
And when they urged a 'hello' he grunted to refuse
Snow White felt defeat among these dreary lads
"There must be one who isn't half bad!"
"Nope." said Pride "I am the best."
"Shut up." said Lust "There's another fellow left."
They showed Miss White to the room upstairs
And allowed her to enter a mysterious lair
On the other side of the shiny white door
Was a well furnished room from ceiling to floor
The room was filled with jewels and treasure
And there sat a dwarf of unequal measure
His name was Greed, a spiffy, young guy
With money galore and dressed to the nines
"Can you help me sir? I need a place to stay?"
"If you want my assisstance, you will have to pay."
Frustrated and lost, Snow began to leave
But a knock at the door made her slowly repreive
Remember how the old tale tells of seven,
But wait, there's six? Is one in heaven?
No in fact there's one person more
The character knocking on the outside door
She's a lady of green, the leaader of the gents
With plans of demise so largely instense
She's known as "Queen" all throughout time
But in this tale she's Envy, jealousy divine
As Snow whittles the knob, quite prepared to die
A huntsman sweeps in from somewhere nearby
He murders Envy and all of her dwarves
With handsome swiftness and little remorse
"Thank you kind knight! What is your name?"
"I'm the slayer of sins, or Messiah, madame."