I once lived in a beautiful sea
Not the letter
But the horizon that got better and better
As you explored.
There was no way to tell day from night
Unless you looked up
But it depends how far you are from the surface
And sometimes I’m gone for hours
Watching the top transition from black to bright blue.
Before the divers came and eradicated the cove
I spent a lot of time alone
Away
Lonely
But not alone.
I used to play with fish and race guppies and watch the turtles float upside down
I used to go watch a guy wrestle sharks
I used to watch humans drown.

Bermuda,
Bermuda is what the humans call the island not far from the cove
Maybe two days a swim to get there
But it’s always a treat.
My sister and I once went to the island
Our silver tails undulating like the sea
But on the way we crossed a big boat
And I almost lost her serendipitously.
I later learned that boats that size are referred to as yachts
Traps for merpeople who can’t tell the difference between a fan and a turbine.
I saw the humans on the top of the boat with colored cylinders in their hands,
But it was really their legs that made them shine.

I want legs.
Two sticks
Walkable
Two feet attached.
I’m tired of reaching where the water doesn't flow and unable to go forward
Hindered
By the very thing that permits me to swim.
Those humans don’t know how lucky they are
Those creatures don’t know how lucky they are
Traversing to any plain imaginable
No limits.
With two feet you can
Swim,
Soar,
and Run.
2 of which are impossible to do in a gravity-less domain.
I can swim as far as I want as fast as I want
And when I break the surface I can fly too,
But I can’t walk.
I can never walk.
I can try to crawl like those tiny plump humans do,
But like me they are restricted by their parents.
If my mom knew how often I left the cove to explore
Human sites
she would strip me of my gills and leave me to drown like
Humans.

I have a pair of pearls with a secret.
Humans have this idea that merpeople can craft their own jewelry
Right
Like we've invented that skill when we can hardly communicate with you?
My race isn't that smart
Without textbooks or leaders
Or a language
Or a thought.
Sometimes I think that there’s a population of merpeople who don’t have brains
Who don’t have thoughts
Who don’t have feelings
But I have feelings.
I feel anger like the humans.
I feel happy and sad and confused like the humans.
I have a hunger of knowledge
But humans don’t like to share their ideas with merpeople
They only want to display them in water cages
I hear they’re called tanks
Aquariums
And the moment I’m placed in one
I’m classified as the brainless merpeople
Merrily a pretty object
Not an intellectual individual
Just a pair of breasts and a fish tail
Not a female creature, small and frail.
Those brainless merpeople are the reason
That the divers came.
It’s also my fault
But I’m not brainless.
I was smart about the pearls.
They were lovely when I first saw them
Pale pink
Bulbous
Shining even in the darkest waters.
I found it all alone
Drifting
Just as I do
Sinking
Just as my spirit does
Sparkling
Just as my eyes did in its reflection.
I needed it
It was mine
I wanted something just like the humans.
It obviously jumped off the yacht
To be with me
And not the previous owner
Who had stupidly let the sea swallow it.
It fit right over my gills
Concealing a fraction of evidence that proved I was a mermaid
A brainless one
Because a human had jumped in after it and followed me all the way to the cove.
Humans surprise me sometimes.
One moment they’re carefree and happy and fat
Then when they lose something precious
They pine
They chase
They lie.

The divers had nets
Tiny blocks that even fingers couldn't squeeze through
Against other blocks and blocks
Like the merpeople who were trapped in them
Against other merpeople and merpeople
I was trapped against my sister and brother
Signing them to stay strong
Even when our tails were too restrained to move.
In quick seconds the dark sea was shrinking away to light
Tiny fish fluttered past
Seaweed got stuck
And we were raised above the surface
Gasping for water
Shivering
Exposed
and Guilty.
The divers that took us
They went by the name ‘Creature Control’.
We were stored in a giant tank
In a giant human plane
And taken to a giant place
Called the Dome.

We were confused at first
Not a lot of merpeople knew how to speak English
And it was too late to go back to the ocean
It was long gone.
I had to learn too.
I recognized some words
My favorite was ‘Pearl’
Which rhymed with ‘Girl’
and was also my best friend.
We had a chance
To retrieve all of our things
But they muzzled us all
Confusing us as merpeople who could sing.
I took everything
The shells and stones and gems and lost things
Took three bags to fill
But only two seconds to spill.

The Dome was big
Scary
No water.
It required feet to explore
And that was my first problem
All of our problems.
They sat me in a chair
Two big wheels on the side
Told me to test it out
I revved around in style!
I could finally explore
To my heart’s content
So many places to go!
I wandered, so many hours spent.
I thought,
Sure, this could be better
Doesn't smell like fish
And less animals that could tear us limb-from-limb
But there are other creatures here too
And they don’t like living here as much as I do.
And then I found
That when I wanted to fly
I’d be wrestled to the ground
Even if I was only going to try.
I soon found that I didn't like it here
As much as I liked the sea
I could be a lot of things here
But not everything I wanted to be.

So often I found myself in their detention
Often I found myself with so much negative attention
Often they tried to discourage me
Often I was the villain in someone else’s story
Often I was darted and smacked and tossed
Often I found myself on the floor unable to get back up
Often no one would come to my rescue
Often I broke facial tissue
Often I would search for a friend that would understand
Her name was Crayne
She gave me more than enough reasons to want to touch land
Correctly.

I am not a siren
Nor a brainless mermaid
Nor a thief
Nor a misunderstood teenager
I am a fish-tailed individual
Who was named Diamond
But found pearls.