Jumbled nerves

tangled thoughts

calculation, manipulation

tugging cuff

take a seat

breath out

count to ten

watch their faces

blankly staring

 

avoid the labels attained

mother, wife, daughter

artist, writer, homesteader

or the labels desired

lawyer, activist, leader

mentor, teacher, environmentalist

 

me, look at me

raw, greedy, selfish

lazy, quiet, aloof

don't see those please

kind interested, negotiator

giving, wiling, driven, out-spoken

like me, please

insecure

 

If I take the filter off

of what I feel like you all see

and what I want you all to see

If I throw away all those

"describe yourself in three words" resumes

and back out of interview situations

who am I becomes a big question

 

I laugh at sarcasm and ironic situations

I watch too much anime

I hoard books

I want to protect the world by growing gardens on the medians

I love to smell new dirt

I am terrified of earthworms

I wish I could speak seven languages

I want to continue my education

I regret I can't have more children

I love the one I have

I love to cook when I don't have to clean the kitchen

I wish all plastics were biodegradable

I wish everyone could get along

 

I am full of desires and dreams.

Without the filter, I want those desires and dreams to be me.