Searching for Light


When will the darkness end?

Will morning ever come?

Will I always have to pretend?

Or will the mask be broken by some?

The smile on my face,

Is almost never real,

I put it there to hide,

So I don’t really have to feel,

Feeling broken and alone,

Feeling down and out,

I find no strength to stand,

I find no strength to shout,

I only wish for someone to notice,

Someone to care or someone to see,

But no one dares look past the fake smile,

No one dares see the real me,

So I walk on in the daylight,

Although to me, an endless night,

Searching for my sunrise,

While I struggle in this plight,

So much is wrong in the world,

There is evil in most everything we see,

But now I am starting to realize,

My biggest danger… is me. 



I wrote this poem late at night while thinking some terrible thoughts. Sometimes I just have to write and get it out on paper. This week is suicide awareness week. 9 months ago today, I lost a close friend from highschool to suicide. In February 2000, my aunt committed suicide. I attempted to take my own life twice during my youth. Throughout my childhood I was bullied in school for being overweight. I now know that it isn't the words of others really that bother me but the words of my own mind. I am my biggest enemy. 

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.


If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741