I sit in class ready to learn but with a heart that’s been burned.

Not because of a boy but because of what I have done to myself.

The real me laughs but doesn’t smile

The real me walks with my head up but with my eyes closed.

The real me speaks my mine but only speaks what will please others.

The real me is scared I’ll never be loved but is perfectly okay with that because I love myself enough.

I want to explore the world but I am too scared to take the first step.

I want people to want me how I want my best friend.

I want people to know the truth but that is something I’m still trying to find out.

I am driving away from something I want, but I’m only in the passenger’s seat.  

There are words that I want to say but I fear for being judged so I say what I want through music, lyrics, and Instagram posts.

Crazy, isn’t it? How we are scared by what we want the most.

I’m very openly private about my life. I share what will please others but I keep to myself what will scare others away.

I try to keep my friends happy,

And I try to keep my family happy,

But I can never seem to keep myself happy.

Who is this girl? My mom would answer, “she’s funny but she’s super lazy!” My friends would say I’m “chill” and hilarious but also reserved.

If you asked me who I am, I’d say I’m still searching.