Saved by a Subaru
With every shower, every new pair of shoes,
every birthday cake, every bookstore,
every single breath which kills so, so slowly,
it becomes clearer that perhaps....we are just parasites.
And even as we laugh in our innocence,
we breathe in the blood of this world.
When this dark idea reaches up
to take me in its warm embrace
and begins to gently coax my melting self
into the bedroom floor
I get into my car. I put on Sufjan Stevens. And I drive.
And when the sun warms my bones
and the wind stirs up my insides
and Sufjan Stevens seems to be singing
the most tragically beautiful song I’ve ever heard-
in that exact moment
I feel so fucking human.
I feel infinite.
I think about dying rainforests and small acts of kindness
and bleeding oceans and Van Gogh
and homelessness and handmade birthday cards and you.
I always think about you.
(...)
Oh.
OH.
Of course.
Balance.
I laugh and there is still blood but I laugh anyways
because it has finally occured to me that a species
which produces the likes of Sufjan Stevens
and you is worth being a part of.
*I actually drive a Toyota minivan, but in the song "Eugene" by Sufjan Stevens, Stevens writes that the man who taught him how to swim called him "subaru" because he couldn't say his first name. To listen (which I 1000% reccomend) click this link.