This is my life now
Standing on a cloud that 
Does not really exist
Falling, falling
Ever faster

My heart is racing
At the speed of light;
My mind cannot handle
The emotion,
The torrent of life
Finally rushing at me,
Finally targeting me
With its vicious gaze.

The heat on my skin, 
My face is burning.
The blotches cover it,
Taking over,
Ever faster

My friends,
My time,
My life,
They are running out
I have nothing.

I am a ticking time bomb,
My head is ready to explode
With these thoughts and faces, 
These ideas and names
That haunt me
In my every waking moment
Why is life so hard, 
So complex?
Why can things not just be simple?
Why must it be
A twisted funnel of
Never-ending hate
And war and
Ongoing torture that
I know is meant for me.

My life is a constant
Myriad of death
And my heart is
A glass box.
The glass is cracking...
My reality is falling apart.

My friends?
I have no friends.
I trust no one,
I cannot trust anyone.
Trust is the window
To the soul and
My soul is black, 
Charred from years 
Of abuse and betrayal.
My mind is corrupted,
Jaded in a way no
One person can return from.

My eyes no longer 
Tell the truth,
They lie, telling
The people around
Me that I am okay,
That they know me,
The open book.
But they do not,
They never will.
I do not even know
Myself anymore.

People do not know me.
I am the scion to a 
Kingdom of nothing,
Of misfits and would-be 
Success stories
And I have seamlessly
Snuck into your sentient
World that is a spectrum of
Sumptuous, strangely
Superfluous everything. 

And you view me in your 
Supercilious way, frowning in 
Condescension while calling
Me the same way.   
And I, of course, 
Feel hesitant to 
Call you on your snobbish
Behavior and your
Subtle superiority complex 
Because of my own pity
For your superannuated 
Sentences that find a way to 
Mock me constantly

Why must I feel less than I am?
Why must I bring myself 
Down to a level that is
Below yours when
We are equals, when 
All people are created
And remain equal?
Why must you superimpose 
Yourself to surfeit the 
Giant ego that I never
Thought to exist in your mind?

I surreptitiously make my
Way through the crowded 
Echoes of your sycophant
Self to summon the 
Sedulous person hiding 
Within the subliminal abyss
Known as your mind?
Why must you continue to
Spurn me as I reach out?


Going on in an infinite
Oval of terrifying
Obstacle courses that
Dawns perception onto my 
Biodegradable brain and
Your words terrify me just as much as your
Eyes, your judging,
Sardonic eyes.