Dear Life,

 

Our relationship has been rocky, to say the least.

 

I hope you're well. As a matter of fact, I know you're well.

But you weren't for a while there.

You were suffering, you were absent for a while.

You left me alone, without a care.

I forgive you, though, I forgive you.

 

We've been through a lot, me and you.

Dad in and out, both in mind and physical body,

Mom crying, sister angry, a broken family.

You, Life, you left me alone.

But I forgive you, I forgive you.

I have to. I have no choice. I can't stay with Existing.

 

Existing is keeping me in a limbo, a plane hidden from the layers of the world,

Tucked away neatly, somewhere in between, and nowhere at all.

 

Existing is nothing. 

Existing makes me blankly stare at a smiling baby.

Existing makes me cold in a room filled with bodies, not people, bodies.

Existing makes me fake a smile to an old friend.

Existing is toxic like the way chocolate is to dogs-

I can't help myself from wanting Existing, I didn't know Existing could kill me.

But I do now.

Existing is absence in the worst of ways.

 

I don't want Existing anymore, Life, I want you.

I want you. I'm sure of it. Me and you, together, for eternity if you'll have me.

I hope you can forgive me for forgetting about you, as a matter of fact, I know you can.

 

Sincerely, 

Me